Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Hungry Loins In Aisle 1- The Pair
I would like to know how many of you out there have ever went into an adult video store, got hit on by a customer, and gladly accepted the invitation to either get their phone number, grab a bite, or even a good lay?
Well, I've gotten an invitation along those lines twice in the same video store, and turned them both down.
If you don't think I'm crazy now, you will when I tell you that both times the guys were good looking.
The first advance was from 2 Latinos. Being a bit insecure as I am, I wasn't sure if one or both of them were checking me out. Then one of them came over to me, and told me that his friend thought I was cute. I gave a shy smile and said "Thank you", then looked up to see if his friend was as cute as I thought he was from the corner of my eye.
He damn sure was.
He was tall and slim. But being that we were in an adult video store, I felt a little odd saying, "Well, let's get together sometime. Here's my number."
Plus, I was wondering if he knew who I was. After all, we were in the gay section, and he and his friend were checking out the ethnic porn. With that in mind, I could have easily played that to my advantage. With both "Dillon: The One" and "Love Of The Dick 4" at a slight diagonal from being right in front of me, I could have told them about my being in those movies, and got my admirer to try to see if he could do better.
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I was getting hard as a rock thinking about winding up on my back wrapping around that tall, slim body of his, and grabbing his ass while he fucks me senseless. As for the friend who introduced us in the 1st place, although he wasn't bad looking either, I was not as sexually drawn to him. But if anything did happen, he would have been more than welcome to watch, and shoot his load on me. Instead, I kept my mouth shut, and just let the conversation fizzle out.
If it's not obvious already, I do regret not being more respondent and forthcoming about myself to see how that night could have ended up. When I occasionally stroll into that video store, I often flashback and wonder if I'll run into him again. Well, I'll say this much - if I do see him again, he had better hope I'm single. Because if I am - should he approach me again, I will definitely be seeing where that day or night takes us. Especially now since I moved to my new place in Jersey City this past June, I have had 2 guys over, and the PATH train is right outside of the video store. So we could be on my bed butt-ass naked in about 30 minutes or less.
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DILLON:THE ONE & LOVE OF THE DICK 4 can be purchased at THUGMART.COM
B.U2B. FREE,
Tré Xavier of Tre-X.com
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Why We Bare The Risk
Why do some of us bareback when we know the risk, but don't want the consequences?
Looking back on my days of taking that risk, I can give you an idea of what many are looking for, even if they themselves don't realize it.
Me and a friend of mine who is a psychoanalyst, got into a bit of a debate about this. He said that people bareback because of "The Pleasure Principle" - pleasure at any cost. I believe it goes deeper than just ordinary pleasure. When I would take the risk of barebacking, I was searching for pleasure, but a very specific kind of pleasure. The pleasure of intimacy.
I stated before that when ever you have sex with someone you always have a moment where you get in touch with all of them. All of their heart, mind, body, and soul. Whether for a fraction of a second or throughout the entire sex session, you and that other person have a moment where you are completely joined. And that moment is what we are searching for when we have sex. Be the sex in a relationship or numerous 1 night stands. And how much more physically intimate with the body can you get than to bareback. It's totally flesh to flesh, and fluid to fluid. Now although many realize that connection should be reserved for a life-partner, some of us feel a desperation for the pleasure of that extremely intimate connection and take the risk.
But before you take that risk again, you need to ask yourself is the fear you go through when you walk into a doctor's office or free clinic to get a HIV/STD test worth it?
Is the possibility of hearing the words, "You tested positive for ______" worth that risk?
Is having to tell your friends and family, and most importantly, your significant other worth that risk?
I hope your answers are NO! NO! and NO!
And I am well aware that you are not going to ask yourself those questions when you are in the heat of the moment. That's why you should keep repeating them to yourself now, so that when the moment arises those questions are so embedded in your brain that your asking and answer those questions, and the actions that result from those answers are all subconscious, but safe.
This is what I do now, and I hope you are doing the same, and if not, I hope you start to. Stay well.
B.U2B. FREE,
Tré Xavier of Tre-X.com
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
No BB, No PNP
I like having my sexual adventures, just like anybody else. I get horny, and sometimes a handjob begins to seem like it's no longer enough to sooth my craving.
But at what cost am I willing to sooth that craving?
Recently, I almost went too far.
There was a guy on DList.com who was actually one of the 1st guys to be on my friends list when DList.com started about 2 years ago. He always seem fickled with me, and now I know why. I was ready early on to talk, and get to know each other. Be it for a hot fuck session, or (in going for a long shot) a relationship. But he never seemed too interested to keep the lines of communication open on his end.
A while ago, we had a chat on DList.com, and I got some news that I wasn't too happy with. He was into barebacking, and he was also into PNP. For those of you who don't know what PNP stands for, it stands for "Party and Play". "Party" as in with crystal meth. I made it clear early on in that chat that the most drugs I've ever done is ecstasy, and I haven't done that for awhile, and I don't do barebacking. The next thing you know, we wouldn't chat for a while.
This is where I will admit that I have done barebacking, and I have been a very blessed man in the outcome of my lapse in judgment. Now however, I am seeing someone, and I've come to realize that when making those choices, you are not only making them for yourself, but you're making them for your significant other as well. Whether that significant other is actually a part of your life, or someone you have never met, but hope to have in your future.
Recently, while I was online, I knew he was online as well, but I kept browsing elsewhere. Then the chat windows pops up with him wanting to chat. Knowing full well of his conditions that he seemed unwilling to bend from, in my horniness reaching that so-called desperation point, I was almost willing to bend from my standards and go along.
I thought at first that the chat was going to go the same as always. So when we ended the chat with me hinting at me only contemplating it, I felt he wouldn't keep pursuing me.
I turns out I was wrong.
He texted me at least once a day for an entire week asking if I was coming over. During that time of contemplating whether to cater to his wishes, I just started seeing this new guy, and came to my new aforementioned standard of taking care of me for myself and those I am or will be involved with. And the text messages came so often that it got to the point that I felt the need to actually call him and tell him that a tryst between me and him WAS NOT going to happen.
Well, this story is long enough, and if it gets much longer, it won't be because of my telling about the outcome. Since being that all I got out of my mouth was me saying that, "....our getting together barebakcing is not going to happen" - CLICK!
The phone immediately went dead.
So even though he claims he's negative, my decision gives me solace in knowing that I saw myself as being good enough to not take that chance that he was just lying to me so that my ass would be a cup to hold whatever infections may be in his semen. I was strong enough to overcome the temptation of giving in to my supposed desperation for sex. It's a supposed desperation, because it was all in my mind, and I came to that realization in the nick of time. I can only hope others come to that realization in good time as well.
As far as taking that chance goes, it makes me wonder why do so many of us take that chance at one time or another? I have a theory as to why, and I'll tackle that matter very soon.
B.U2B. FREE,
Tré Xavier of Tre-X.com
Friday, November 9, 2007
The Lust For Contrast
There is a reason for our attractions. Sometimes it's natural and other times it's nurtured, be it by our upbringing, our friends, or the media. And sometimes that nurturing works for the best, and other times it doesn't.
I often wonder whether my attractions are natural or nurtured, because if I haven't said so already, I lust for men of all colors, but I mainly lust after guys lighter than myself. Is that because of my African/Native American/Venezuelan heritage I crave to have that mix of colors visualized between me and my partner(s)? Or is it because the media says "light is right"? Or am I combating the racism in this country through sex, since sex is the ultimate form of connection? Or is it some combination of all of those things?
No one with a functioning brain in their head can deny my statement that "sex is the ultimate form of connection". It's 1 body entering another, giving a part of yourself to the other person. Whether you're making love, or having a primal, uncommitted fuck, a part of your heart, mind, body, and soul touches that other person. It may be there for just a flash, linger for a bit, or stay with you for the rest of your life - but that other person becoming a part of you is inevitable.
And that's what I crave in my sex with lighter people. Besides some of the other possible reasons I like it, one motivation for wanting it in my porn that I'm conscious of is showing the world that connection, and the eroticism of it. Along with the beauty that comes with them both.
Such is the case with Rudy and Vokalz in "HOLLA BACK Boi". Besides Vokalz having a plump juicy ass that makes me want to show why I'm a versatile bottom, watching Rudy muscular darker complexion slam into Vokalz light bouncing ass is a thing of sheer erotic beauty to me. It's something we should see more often, and bring to mind how this world became so rich in various colors, because straight couples saw that same beauty as I do in a contrasting color.
Showing those contrasting colors coming together also greatly represents Pitbull's fanbase, with almost all the colors of their fans being represented. I got to see that at this year's NY Gay Erotic Expo. The color of the people surrounding their booth went all over the place. There was no straight line of colors, nor a progression of light to dark. Whether you looked right to left, or left to right, the skin color could be a dark-skin Black man, then a White man, then a nicely tanned Latino, then a medium-brown Black man, then an Asian, then a dark-complexioned Latino, then a Middle Eastern, then another White man. The color spectrum of fans ran the gamut.
All this goes to show that while sex with your own color is a beautiful thing, to lust for that contrast even once shows you to not be a creature of the habit racist views propagate. So revel in it, because it's a lust that definitely should not be kept on the down low.
B.U2B. FREE,
Tré Xavier of Tre-X.com
Sunday, October 21, 2007
3rd Sunday @ The Bijou
When Daniel Nardicio posted on DList.com that at his new event "Sundays @ The Bijou", there was going to be nude models to draw, I saw it as a chance for me to better my artistic skills. I've been thinking about doing some erotic drawing for some time now, and I felt to draw a live nude subject would be a great way to prepare for it. I already did one of Dimitri Santiago 2 weeks ago. I didn't any practice in last week though because I wound up becoming the model with only 1 taker. I'm sure that's because so many were at the NY Gay Erotic Expo last week. This week's model's name was Kip. I had to really focus while drawing Kip, because he would occasionally start stroking his dick. Being the horn-dog that I am, I wanted to suck it while it was soft because he was a hot guy. So that would give him 1 hole to stick his cock in. But when it got hard, I was very much willing to offer 2 holes for him to relieve himself in, if you know what I mean. I think I've improved from my 1st try from a couple of weeks ago. When I was drawing Dimitri Santiago, I only got 2 good drawings out of it. This time, I got 4 that I feel are worth sharing. Check them out:
Kip Collage 1
Kip Collage 2
I know they could be better, but they're getting there.
The idea of drawing him while on his stomach to show his ass was my suggestion. I told him that I was an ass-man, and he politely obliged. However, I had no idea of how great an ass he has. What you see in that last drawing is no exaggeration. It really is that nice, round, and plump. This could have easily become a X-rated afternoon on the bar.
Actually, it did.
Kip was still stroking his dick. One of the other guys saw him, and said that if he does shoot a load to shoot it on a sheet of paper he took from one of the drawing pads. He wanted to savor it, I guess. Although to savor it, I've come to learn that the best way to do that is by cumming in water.
Kip shot a load. Luckily, the paper covered his chest, because his jizz almost shot past it.
If I seem massively turned on by Kip, it's because for him to do that, he's obviously an exhibitionist and extremely sexual. And as repressed as the majority of this country is about sexuality, to see someone who goes against the grain like that is a major turn-on for me. I love seeing that overt sexuality in both men and women. With women, I greatly enjoy them being in my presence, and they cause my horniness to spark. Usually just in general, but sometimes towards them. But when a man is that overtly sexual and good looking, I just want to ride his dick and have him fuck my ass how ever many times it takes until he can't cum anymore. Or if he's a bottom, have him ride my dick and I fuck his ass to that same point. But if he's versatile, we may be at it a VERY long while. Let's just say, I hope the neighbors aren't light-sleepers.
I wonder what's going to happen next week. That's the beauty of Daniel's events. You never know what you're going to see that turns you on, BUT you know that as soon as you walk through the door - something will.B.U2B. FREE,
Tré Xavier of Tre-X.com
Sunday, October 21, 2007
The Cock-Adieu-I Do and The Coke-I Don't
On my personal blog, I posted that I was go-go dancing at The Cock on Sundays. Well, a few Sundays ago, it finally reached the point that I had to bid The Cock "Adieu" of my go-go dancing prowess. I wasn't making any real money at it, not getting the proper base pay, and all I was getting in return was sleep deprivation, because after leaving at about 3:30 AM, I had to go home to Jersey City, and get myself ready so I can be at my day job by 8:30 AM. So I told the bartender that got me into this that this was it.
You have to read my post about my dancing at The Cock to find out exactly how I got into go-go dancing there. But to save you the trip back, I'll let you know that most readers figured out what I knew, but tried to deny at first, but admitted to myself by the end of the 1st night. That bartender was into me. And I am not going to deny that I was into him as well. On my 1st night there, he even felt up a hard-on I got from one of the other go-go boys, and I returned the favor by feeling the crotch of his shorts. As the weeks progressed, we became more and more forward with our attraction to each other.
I came there one Saturday night, and it turned out he was working there that night too. He directly told me that he was attracted to me, but he wanted to keep it professional for now. Considering the environment, I saw no reason to putting off following our clear attraction to each other. So I told him about my doing porn as a way to make it clear that I know how to mix business with pleasure. He asked me what was I (as in top or bottom). I told him my movie position(as a complete bottom), instead of my off-camera position as a versatile bottom. His response was, "Well, I have a big dick, so you're gonna love it."
Since I'm not a size queen, that statement didn't make me want to have sex with him anymore than I already did, because my turn-on about a guy's cock is not because of how big it is on that hot guy, but because that hot guy has a cock to put in me no matter how big it is.
We eventually gave in on Labor Day weekend, I waited for him to do all the money counting and cleaning up after the bar closed. We went back to his place, and 4 weeks of dropping temptations at each other was finally going to become the utmost reality so I thought. We went back to his place, made out, then I got some news from him that didn't matter at first, but has come to mean quite a bit to me now.
He had took a hit of coke, so his getting a hard-on might take some work.
At first, our making out with me straddling him was intense , and finally after all that teasing and innuendos, once he entered me in that same position, the fucking started out just straight up primal. The key phrase here is "started out".
I've mention before that I have a tight hole, therefore you can safely assume that you need a rock hard hard-on to fuck me. And thanks to the coke, after about 5 minutes - the primal fucking ended. Therefore, we spent the rest of the time we should have been fucking each other's brains out, trying to make him get that rock hard hard-on. Eventually, we gave up, and I was promised another try in the morning (that never happened by the way). He jerked off, and shot his load that way. I didn't come at all. I was trying to figure out why I couldn't come, and recently it hit me - - Why am I trying to come by jerking off imagining I'm getting fucked by this guy when the guy is totally naked and right next to me in this bed?
And that's why I had to write this blog.
Now, I am no saint when it comes to drug use in my past, so I passed no judgment on him for it at the moment. But due to how the sex turned out, I decided to make some rules for myself regarding drug use for a long-term relationship, as well as a trick.
When I have sex with someone, I want to experience every bit of that person in a way that I remember. I don't want any pain of a big cock going in my ass lessened, having my asshole numbed so I can take it in, or having my brain dazed because I want to forget I'm tricking and not in a real relationship. So for me , there's NO COKE, NO CRYSTAL, NO POPPERS, NO "E", "K", "X", or whatever letter drug wimpy bitches use to numb themselves to the sex they're having.
I look at drug use as a way to escape from the sex you're having. When I trick with someone who uses poppers, I always wonder, "Is he trying to forget we're fucking?". Especially when the guy is a top, because the last I recall, I was told that poppers was supposed to make you relax so you can take in a big cock. So when I see a top taking poppers, I think to myself about him more than I do a bottom, "You, chicken shit!" With that in mind, there should be no doubt as to why the sex I have in a long-term relationship will be TOTALLY DRUG-FREE. Because the only daze I want to experience in all of my days of life, love, and sex with that special someone is to be brought on by his presence, and not a chemical substance.
From a trick, I may accept him telling me that he's done the letter drugs or poppers, because he's just that - a trick, no one special, no one to consider holding in high regard UNLESS he wants to embrace that sexual connection with me totally drug-free as I am.
It's funny how 1 little incident can open you mind up to some decisions you need to make for yourself. I never took much time to think about the drug use of my sexual partners until my disappointment over that night. And what makes it even more funny is that I didn't realize my disappointment right away. It grew as flashes of that night popped into my head. I went from a raised eyebrow, to a scowl, to a frown, an even more harsh frown, and then to the point when I had to say to myself, "WHAT THE FUCK - I WAITED FOR THAT DICK ALL THAT TIME, AND COKE FUCKS UP MY GETTIN' SOME THE RIGHT WAY! DAMN! DAMN!! DAAAAAMN!!!!"
Now, being as honest as I am, I did inform that bartender that I wrote this blog. He may not be happy about it at first. But in the long run (if he chooses to), he may be glad to read this so he starts taking steps to make sure his sexual reputation isn't tarnished. Whatever his choice is, only time will tell. But it will most likely be told without me.
B.U2B. FREE,
Tré Xavier of Tre-X.com